Be the best volley parent for your athlete...
- Coach AY
- Apr 7, 2019
- 6 min read
Eighteen years of this sport has shown me most of what goes on court-side. I've decided to share the information and some experiences I've accumulated in these years. Hoping that sharing my stories and ideas will be beneficial to a few.... and at the worst entertaining to all who decide to read. After all: sharing is caring...
The below is a topic I constantly complain about... so maybe help fix the problem instead of talking about it?... the following are my eight guidelines of how to be the best volley parent to your athlete."
Enjoy...
We are a culture that wants fast results; where patience is a dying virtue. As customer service professionals (thats what coaching has turned into at it's worst) our job has become this: Tangible Results.
The goal of playing club volleyball is to improve each athlete to the point where they are eligible for a college scholarship. We coaches know this. I'd guess most people that coach now played in school. But in this fast forward culture it is easy to forget that wins don't equal skill. Processes create skill, and when skill is executed, that may or may not produce wins.... stay focused now....
The sport of volleyball has a flow, just like any sport: repetitive movements followed by constant quick adjustments to ball location or player transitions to defend or attack are key to execution. Here comes my biggest issue with parents and athletes... You BOTH have to learn these transitions, or you can't get upset about why your kid isn't playing or improving! Yes sometimes coaching is the issue ... but a coach's job is to teach the sport, not to teach your child how to listen and process information. That being said, good coaches can, but it is a LONG PROCESS. (back to our fast results culture **Rolls eyes**)
I've come up with my shortened version of a lecture (rant... same same...), so you can get back to your day! Please progress forward with an open mind and know I'm here to help.
8. Use opportunities to learn AND teach:
Coaches are educators and we need your help to teach these kids to be consistent at the movement/transition patterns they use in the sport. Engage your athlete in conversations about what they learned at practice. When they can repeat the information from practice to you in the car, that shows they have listened and retained! This is great because retention doesn't always happen. By you learning from their teaching, it may help you understand the sport a bit more and it is a great way of connecting with your child.
7. Encourage:
When your kid complains, do you listen and agree, or do you challenge them? Do you find out all angles of their problem and encourage them to find their own solution? A personal issue is easily justified if you think you're not part of the problem. Brainstorm a way to change the things an athlete can control and part of a growing process. Help your athlete find answers within their own mind. Your brain is more advanced and experienced than theirs and your understanding can help them expand their ability to problem solve.
6. Support your kid and their teammates:
If your athlete is on the bench are you cheering for your club or are you concerned about why they're not in the game? It is OK for a kid to be taken out. It's not a punishment for messing up. Kids need to become students of the game. If you're out, you're looking for ways to win, hitter's tendencies, which opponent serves hard or short, or if the setter is back row or front row... Staying involved with actions instead of getting lost in the emotions breaches a gap between expectations and reality. You never know what your athlete might pick up from the bench that can change the outcome for your team. Your support to other kids is a statement on your character.
5. Be open minded to change:
I had it easy growing up. I hit 6'0 in high school, huge hands, somewhat coordinated due to all those early years spent on ballet lessons, could jump like 26 inches... Basically built to set the ball and block on the right side. However, from what I've seen not many kids play only one position. Which I think is wonderful. It gives them potential to understand the game more. If an athlete knows how to play multiple positions it makes them more valuable to a program when they can execute in each position. Learning is more important right now. It has to be. This goes back to understanding the flow of the game and how each position makes an impact on the game.
4. Allow them to make mistakes :
It has nothing to do with talent and everything to do with effort. When an athlete is putting in their best effort they will make mistakes and it is OOOOOOKKKKKKKKAAAAAAYYYYYYYY. Making mistakes is a huge part of learning. Processing why they made the mistake creates growth. Growth increases skill. Increased skill means higher level athletes .
3. Provide opportunities for responsibility:
The thing I hate seeing the most as a coach, or even just as an observer, is an obedient parent. (You seriously take instructions from a 15 year old??!) Athletes have to be prepared to succeed. Preparation is anything from making sure they have their jersey in their bag, to being hydrated. You must set yourself up to succeed, and leave nothing to chance. Give your athlete the help to get themselves ready for practice or competition by reminding them, but DO NOT LET THEM RELY ON YOU TO FIX THEIR ERRORS! Again: making mistakes is a huge part of learning... Let them fail, so they know what they can do to prevent future failures.
2. Calm. Down.
Mistakes are part of being human. Keep in mind that just because adults are experienced, doesn't mean they're error free. We make errors every day. The first thing I do after a match is reflect on my decision making as a coach. It will always be and has always been a learning process. It has to be or I won't improve! I also don't always look back and support my decisions... but that is exactly how I learn.
Parents. Stay calm during your athlete's competition. The last thing your kid needs is the additional pressure of your loud voice from the sideline screaming at them or the ref for making a "bad" call. (Again understanding the flow of the sport will help you be insightful as to why some calls are made in the first place.) Cheer your heart out... just keep your head on your shoulders.
1. Support coach's decisions:
Coaches don't play a kid because they don't like them. (I've heard parents use this as an excuse as why their kid isn't playing) It is NOT rare that a coach keeps an athlete out because their skill is not developed enough to help their team... Let that sink in. Within the 14's team I coach, they do not see court time in tournaments if they don't know where to transition to in each situation from each position*** (free ball, down ball, outside, right side and middle attack.) (This could be why your child may not be on the court) This is because on my end, I have provided them EVERY opportunity to ask questions if they do not understand what we learn in practice. It's also 6 months into the season by now you have to know where you're supposed to go in the game. If you let your emotions get the best of you and ask the coach yourself why your kid isn't playing, you're again managing your child's problems and they're not learning.
If you look for opportunities to teach you might be able to get your kid to think for themselves.. crazy concept? NOT AT ALL. Understanding the game helps you stay calm, but ever be afraid to ask your coach technical questions! Coaches are here to help and teach.... Most coaches love the sound of our their own voice... so... be prepared for long answers! ;)
Remember that your kid is doing this to learn and grow and to have fun. Are you holding them back or are you encouraging them for more?
Comentarios